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Hey Mick! Show Me The Snake

Fanning’s Female Fan Club Lights Up In Response To His Sandy-Bottom Discovery

HEY THERE MICK, WANA GO ON A DATE?!

I REALLY WANA RIDE YOUR PERFECT SNAKE

Mick I know it’s fresh, you’re finally single and maybe even ready to mingle. It can be daunting even scary for some, when a love comes undone. Since you have been hitched the times have changed, Tinder is a thing these days. If you play your cards right you might get a few nibbles. I just want to warn you, be careful out there. Watch out for the users and abusers all with their eyes on your surfy blonde hair.

I’m a little worried, some girls are only out for your bucks. Your perfectly chiselled jaw, understated grin and sparkling blue eyes (that just match the ocean perfectly) are kind of hot commodities in any handsome male stud. The 3 world titles and subsequent rig might make some cougars lick their lips.

This is a message just so you know that some ladies out there are keen to take it slow. Breakups are tough, even tougher than shark boxing but sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on. Never fear Mick Fanning I am here!

I do have to warn you, I’m not one for long walks on the beach, holding hands or valentine’s day. I’m more of the adventurous type, so maybe instead of staring into your baby blues, and you showing me how well you can stroke…..into a wave. We could go on an adventure? I heard you have been on a few lately and you found a long snake! You know what Mick I’ll be that rebound girl, you can take me on a date, but only if you take me to the secret Snake. 

Could the right seductress get Mick to reveal the location of The Snake?

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