Well, if they can do it for the footy, why on Earth can’t we do it for surfing? Here are the top 15 surfers, rated out of 10 for their performances at J-Bay over the last week. 

Matt Wilkinson: 7
A solid, confident progression to the quarterfinals without ever catching fire. Kept the lead, job done.

John John Florence: 7
The best surfer in the field, in the best waves in the world, and done by the lowest seed in the quarters. A poor return. 

Jordy Smith: 8
Two re-surfs didn’t help, and he set a benchmark early, but bottled it when it really matters. As he always does. 

Owen Wright: 6
Looked off pace for the first time this year. Is the fairytale over, or will Chopes reignite the dream? 

Adriano de Souza: 3
The only top five contender to lose early. Was heard to be sticking steak knives into his nipples, whilst watching the rest of the event. 

Joel Parkinson: 5
Not the only top flight surfer to be Coffined, but missing those conditions later in the event will hurt. Was that the last chance to be in a world title conversation? 

Filipe Toledo: 10 Domination.
His rail game has powered into the upper echelons, his air game went higher stratosphere. When he sorts out his lefthand slabs, he’ll be world champion. 

Julian Wilson: 9
Back to where he belongs. Timeless surfing in perfect conditions. 

Gabriel Medina: 7
Loses a point for claiming 7.5s, but otherwise was the only goofy who looked capable of going all the way. 

Connor O’Leary: 5
Made a rookie mistake that cost him the heat against Fred. That’s cause he’s a rookie. Took it well, will bounce back. 

Mick Fannning: 8
An unFanning like Fanning. Boards looked wrong, wave selection was off and surfing was mistake riddled. One 9.8 aside, never looked like himself. Bonus two points for jumping off the boat minutes after a 12-foot white had been lurking in the takeoff zone. 

Frederico Morais: 10
Few rookies have made a such an impact in recent years. Mentally bullet proof, and in waves over six foot is world-class. Nice fella too. 

Kolohe Andino: 7
Absolutely shafted. First by the lid, and then by the Commissioner. That he fell on the WSL sword so his mate Coffin could ride again later will be of no consolation whatsoever. 

Sebastian Zietz: 5
Looked slightly skittish and the froth levels took over. Bonus point though for his twin fin session, where all the kinks seem to fade away. 

Miscellaneous

Ronnie Blakey and Pete Mel: 8
Surf commentary’s dream team. 

The shark boat driver: 10
Biggest wave of the event with the longest bottom turn.

The Larry Layback: 8
The oldest and least fashionable surfing maneuver is having a real moment.

Kanoa Igarashi: 3
So, uhm, what is the point again? 

Jeffreys Bay: 10
Showed what happens when you put the best surfers in the best waves. Does anyone remember Rio?

Ethan Ewing: 2
This spiral seems to have no bottom.